Thursday, July 20, 2006

Im inflicted!!!

Yes, it is true! I have a severe case of procrastination. If I had to list one thing about myself that I really dont like or enjoy, it would be my extreme procrastination. I do everything at the last moment, I cant even imagine doing it until right up against the deadline. Im like this with bills (hence the idiot account) with cleaning, and with going places, well with everything. When I think about how much easier and full my life would be if I just didnt put everything off until the last minute... Im floored.

See the problem with being a procrastinator isnt that you do everything in the last minute, heck I think sometimes I work best in a crunch, but it is the paralyzing effect on your brain and your ability to do anything. It isnt that "Oh yeah, I will deal with that tomorrow" it is constantly thinking about, dreading, dragging out chores or whatever until you are so exhausted by it you cant even face actually tackling the task at hand. I know that sounds dramatic, but it is really the truth.

Case in point; we moved all the boys stuff into ME's room (which she doesnt use) so we could take down two walls in our house, no biggie right??? Well, now that room is CHAOS, and I mean really insane. It has been this way since last Friday, the kids are bouncing off the walls because they dont have anywhere to unwind and feel at peace, I am beyond exhausted just from thinking about how I am going to make this whole thing work, and I am sitting here at my computer typing about it instead of going in there and just DOING IT and moving on with my life. I have had dreams about it, I have reached the point that even walking in there makes my blood pressure rise (I know this because when my blood pressure rises, my teeth hurt). UGH!!! I need help!

Oh I have tasted success, and I know the glory in just getting something checked off your list, believe me I have a LONG list, and I do accomplish a lot in a day, but things like this, things that somehow slip into that "crazy lady" part of my brain, just freeze me in my steps. I allow it to realy take over my life and then NOTHING gets done because I am in this strange mode of inability and exhaustion. I wonder if it is a nutrition thing having to do with energy sometimes, or if Im just a nut job??

However, I have now admitted I have a problem and I plan on taking it on, facing it and moving on with my life!!! I will get my iPod out, listen to Donna Simmons second grade lecture and move some tail. I have found that if I am listening to something on my ipod or talking on the phone (something I never do anymore) it entertains that weirdo part of my brain that freezes me up, and allows my body to just move through it until, BAM it's done. I guess it is a mental thing after all!!!

Please tell me other poeple (besides me, and a couple of ladies I know) are inflicted with this insanity!!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm exactly the same way. It doesn't seem to go away with age, in fact I think it might get worse.